Reflections: Communication Problems
“And your name is?” asks the Starbucks barista, a black marker pen in hand.
It is the simplest question you could ask someone, and despite knowing that it has been coming, it is one that I have learned to dread and that I am unable to answer crisply. I can’t help it, I’m not sure if it is a subconscious affectation, but I - and I always do this - hum and haw my response.
“Err… Anthony.”
“Sorry?”
“Erm… it’s Anthony.”
“Okay,” says the perplexed-looking barista and scrawls down onto the paper cup what she thinks might be my name. That I pronounce my name Ann-Toe-Knee rather than the more standard American pronunciation of Ann-Thon-Knee complicates matters further, but it is that momentary hesitation – that damn “err” and “erm” - that I am unable to mute. When friends from the UK visit I hear in some of them that same faltering indecision repeated in their voice as in mine – I end up loving them for it.
“Grande latte for Anty,” shouts the barista. In Starbucks I answer to Anthony, Anty, Andrew, Aaron, Timothy, Alex, Jeremy. Perhaps some sort of name badge is in order?
…at least it doesn’t say ‘Aunty’.
Deborah
March 3, 2012 at 2:34 am
Wow, I’m American and have rarely heard the name Anthony pronounced any other way than Ann-Thon-Knee. The only time I hear it pronounced Ann-Toe-Knee is by people whose native language does not have the ‘th’ sound. Of course, in certain areas of the Eastern US it is often pronounced Ant-Knee. I have a lot of friends with hard to pronounce or hard to spell names so they all have adopted simplified “ordering names” just to speed up the process.
Jane
March 3, 2012 at 7:26 am
Hi Jane,
You’re right, that is the more common pronunciation. Alarmingly I appear to be culturally discombobulated about my own nam, or at least a terrible proof reader. Have edited the post to change that. Thanks for the spot!
awindram
March 3, 2012 at 9:41 am
You’re so right. Why do we Brits hate giving our names? Is it that British reserve? Or is it just that we like longer sentences? It feels wrong just to give one word. We don’t like saying “yes”. It’s always “yes, please”, or “actually, yes”, or “oh, that would be a good idea”. We’re just too flowery for Starbucks.
I have the additional issue that me and my husband have “his and hers” names. Think Paul and Pauline, or Philip and Philippa. That always leads to a predictable conversation.
Great observation. (Even that feels too short as a sentence. I really want to say, Errr, great observation.)
Iota
March 3, 2012 at 9:13 am
Next time answer more formal- “Yes, my name is Anthony!” And while your at it, just call yourself Anton lol
Fun read
megalagom
March 3, 2012 at 12:13 pm
I hate giving my name (Brit here), especially my first name. It’s like saying I want to be friends with everyone in Starbucks (I don’t). In restaurants and places where I’m making a booking I always give my surname.
But I also have a name that no Americans can pronounce and which they always mishear. When I lived in the US I used to manoeuvre conversations so that an American friend would have to introduce me to avoid giving my own name and the subsequent embarrassment of not getting it right. Usually people would assume ‘Rose’ but quite often ‘Ross’.
Ros
March 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I think this is a common British problem – I seem to remember a post from Calif Lorna once about how nobody could ever get her name right in Starbucks. Maybe you should just give them a made up name that they can understand – like Mitt perhaps?
nappyvalleygirl
March 4, 2012 at 9:43 am
I did the opposite when I first came here – and pronounced every “Anthony” I saw with a “t” sound. Isn’t that what we do in England? Anyway…
You’d think with my name (Toni), there’s be little room for error but you should see what comes through the mail based on the information I have given over the phone. The best one? Instead of Toni Hargis, it was addressed to Tiny Harper!
Expat Mum
March 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Tiny Harper sounds like a great name for a jazz singer from the 30s.
awindram
March 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Would you have such a difficult time with it if you were in a country with a totally different language, Russia or Italy, for example. Would your expectation that people would get your name right be lower so you could get over being befuddled by the whole issue?
Mary
March 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Well, there’s no “expectation” that people get my name right, it’s more about being self-conscious and frustrated that through my own pronunciation and dependency on paralanguage that I do such a poor job of communicating my name to them.
awindram
March 4, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Maybe it’s a British hangup I just can’t understand but I do hope you realize that Starbucks and other food/beverage establishments only ask your name so they can call it out when your order is ready and they have no intention of becoming your newest chum. You could give them ANY name you want.
Jane
March 5, 2012 at 10:10 am
“…but I do hope you realize that Starbucks and other food/beverage establishments only ask your name so they can call it out when your order is ready and they have no intention of becoming your newest chum.”
Thanks for the clarification as that is, of course, precisely the misconception I’ve been laboring under.
awindram
March 5, 2012 at 10:42 am
I meant no ill will in what I wrote but apparently I did not express myself well. I apologize.
Jane
Jane
March 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm
thanks.
awindram
March 6, 2012 at 12:29 am
Boo, I feel your pain! I am an American expat living in Devon. My name somehow ends up with an R in it. My name is shaunne. OK, but try to say Sh ON EE not hard. It isnt Sharnie. I swear that is how someof my friends say it, even if they have only ever hear ME say it! GAH, lol. Want to hear something worse? I named my daughter Ginger before we moved here.
starle
March 6, 2012 at 5:35 am
Oh No! Have you seen this?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17356957
Just one of the many comments:
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius; father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife; and I will have my skinny latte with an extra shot, in this life or the next!
Please let us know what they say when you use this!
starle
March 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm