Culturally Discombobulated

Exit, John Kasich

Back home in Ohio – the only state he was electorally relevant in – Kasich announced the suspension of his campaign.

It was striking – and surprising – that Kasich’s speech was even more marked by religious rhetoric than Cruz’s had been last night. He spoke at length about the supporters that he had met on the campaign trail, those who had come to meet him and seemed overcome emotionally, even spiritually, by his campaign. I wouldn’t go so far as to say nothing in his campaign became him like the leaving it. Instead, he tried to take on the posture of a humble pastor, and, while not disparaging the sincerity of his faith, I did wonder if that was partly a stratagem by his communication team; play up Kasich as having been on a humbling journey of faith and hope that people don’t instead think that hanging around as long as he did was a futile, vainglorious quest that only made things easier for Trump.

It was a gray day here. I’m not too far from Trump Tower where the conspiracy theorist, demagogue, presumptive nominee and possible future President of the United States was being interviewed by Wolf Blitzer. For a while the heavens opened, unlike Kasich I don’t believe in an interventionist God, but perhaps, if he exists, he’s a demonstrably emotional one.

Kasich and the dark side

So with it being Star Wars Day (which really just gets increasingly commercialized with each passing year) the Kasich team tweeted the above video*.
Almost immediately after its release came the reports that Kasich would be officially suspending his campaign this evening.

It would have been more appropriate if Kasich had simply tweeted out the clip of Boba Fett falling into the Great Pit of Carkoon. Unless, of course, he’s going to use the announcement as a chance to finally unleash hs jedi mind tricks.

“Trump is not the nominee you are looking for.”


*No points here for originality. Scott Walker did a very similar video last year.

The GOP’s dark night of the soul – Indiana Primary, 3 May 2016

GOP – Trump wins Indiana

Dem – Sanders wins Indiana

Quick thoughts on the night:

So that’s it. The primary season is effectively over now. On a day that began with Trump making the bizarre (but in no way out of character for him) allegation that Ted Cruz’s father may have been involved in the Kennedy assassination, he ended it as the GOP presumptive nominee after Cruz suspended his campaign. Like a lingering odor, Kasich (the R.C. Cola of GOP candidates) is still there; officially now running fourth in a two-person race.

In one sense, Trump is the nation’s first infowars candidate. A person seemingly willing to believe the most ridiculous crackpot theories – Obama’s birth certificate, Rafael Cruz and JFK, etc. Had things been different and Trump not been born into money in New York, maybe he’d be hunkering down in his survivalist bunker in South Dakota..

Ignoring Kasich,* Trump is the last person standing. In the last year, this GOP nomination has played out like a sick, satirical rewrite of Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None”.

Cruz had called Indiana his firewall; on the basis of tonight it must have been a crappy freeware one. It’s not over until the fat lady sings, or in this case until the thin, former HP executive sings. Cruz suspends his campaign, and this is a real testament to the odiousness of Trump and his willingness for personal attacks on other candidate’s family that I actually find myself feeling sorry for Cruz. Certainly I hope Heidi is booking herself a deserved spa day.

Trump in his speech claimed that he had won – “big-ly”. I guess that’s one way of putting it. Jesus wept. Remember those slightly unfair comic caricatures of George W. Bush and his mangled speech? That’s real life Trump. Bizarrely, Trump in his speech, when not mutilating the English language, attempted to be magnanimous about Cruz and “his whole beautiful family”. You don’t get to do that the same day you connect a guy’s father to the killing of the US President. He also made a promise to his voters that “we’ll be able to say Merry Christmas.” This isn’t (or shouldn’t be) an election promise, it’s a crappy Bill O’Reilly hobby horse.

God knows who is going to be his VP pick. I’m going to put a fiver on Gary Busey.

I’m guessing that Gary Johnson, if he runs on the Libertarian ticket, could get a lot of extra votes this November from those disaffected GOP #NeverTrump voters who can’t bring themselves to vote for Clinton.

So there we are. The presumptive Presidential nominee of the GOP is a man who made insinuations in a debate about the size of his penis. We’re number one!

We’re in a new paradigm, people. If Leicester City can win the Premiership, I’m not discounting Trump being able to win the Presidency.

On the Democratic side, Sanders won, but hardly makes a dent into Clinton’s delegate lead. In a telephone interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper, Sanders insisted that he was going to carry on through the rest of the primaries. “I have,” he said “45% of the popular vote, but only 7% of the superdelegates.” No offense Bernie, but I rather think you’re obfuscating here, having 45% of the popular vote in a two-person race is the bigger problem.






*And most of the cable news networks did ignore him. He’s increasingly starting to look like that one Science teacher you had at High School who last you heard had a breakdown and hit a kid in class.

Election Night Drinking Game

Every time Trump’s name is mentioned – take a shot*.

Every time cable news show footage of Trump’s pumpkin orange face – take a shot.

Every time Trump opens his mouth to speak – take a shot.

Every time cable news discusses the delegate math for Trump – take a shot.

Every time cable news shows you a map with all the congressional districts Trump has won tonight – take a shot.

Every time cable news shows a map of the United States which details all the primaries and caucuses that Trump has won – take a shot.

Every time you find yourself thinking about Donald Trump – take a shot.

No, seriously, every time you find yourself thinking that Trump could possibly do this and win the whole thing – take a shot.

Every time you find yourself thinking, so this is how it all ends? – take a shot.





*For best effect, shots should contain either alcohol or bullets


American Notes: White House Correspondents Dinner

WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER: A cozy affair that has been going on for nearly a century between the White House press corps and the administration of the day. In its current form it acts as a Friars Club roast (only much tamer – so more of a light broiling, really, than a roast) of the sitting President, demonstrating year after year that there is nothing more inconducive to humor than an authority figure in on the joke*.  And who wants to see the press corps chuckling away to the Vice President’s unfunny filmed skits rather than treating the whole event with the disdain you’d hope from seasoned hacks? Just do away with the whole damned thing – and if the press still want to eat out once a year the White House could offer them the choice of a $25 gift card to either Chili’s or Red Lobster. Otherwise this may well be next year’s dinner.




* The exception to the normal toothless satire being the year that Stephen Colbert hosted and, in character, skewered George W. Bush. This, however, was one of those rare, unlikely to be repeated moments  when you had a comic skilled in irony and a President seemingly not in on the joke  Bearing in mind the increasing Hollywoodization of the ceremony, the sitting President almost certainly has to be a Republican in order for the roasting of the Commander-in-chief to have much bite to it