A funny thing happened on the way to mildly diverting things a clueless immigrant learnt this week

by awindram

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  1. Accents:
    Well, it’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it? Yes, I have an accent. But you do too. I spoke recently with a woman who simply couldn’t fathom this out. She was convinced she did not have an accent. No, you have an American accent, dear. To my ears, it;s clear when you open your gob and start gabbing that you’re American. It may be the default and horribly unintersting to 99% of the people you interact with as they also have the same accent, but it’s still an accent. We ALL have accents. Well, maybe not mutes, poor things – but the rest of us do.
  2. Patriotism:
    If we measure patriotism by how loudly it is proclaimed or how quick people are to wrap themselves in its paraphernalia, then there is no group in America as patriotic as gas station owners – apart from, perhaps, the owners of car dealerships. Nowhere else, not even at the State Capitol, will you find a stars and stripes as large as at your local gas station, nor will you find as many flags flying as at your nearest car dealership.
  3. Bumper stickers:
    The best way of expressing your political or personal views doesn’t appear to be through discourse or joining a political party; I mean, who can be bothered with all that needless hard work when with a handful of bumper stickers you can turn your car into a moving billboard for every thought you’ve ever had no matter how obnoxious, stating-the-bleedin’-obvious or asinine they are? Possible downside: your car may very well get keyed – or even worse, appear on an obscure expat blog.

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