Mildly diverting things a clueless immigrant learnt this week rides again

by awindram

  1. [tweetmeme source=”awindram” only_single=false]Solicitors:
    “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” William Shakespeare.
    I had come to the conclusion that a similar anti-lawyer sentiment was prevalent throughout this town. On the front doors of suburban homes I kept seeing signs that proclaimed “no solicitors,” or “solicitors not welcome.” Well, that struck me as a little harsh, but for all I knew the economic downturn had even effected elements of the legal profession, and there were now marauding gangs of parochial solicitors terrorizing neighbourhoods by pestering residents for odd jobs.
    “Have you been injured at work and it wasn’t your fault? Need to draw up a will? Does your fence need creosoting?”
    But then I was reminded that solicitor here refers not to a lawyer, but to a door-to-door salesman.
  2. Gang colours:
    I shouldn’t wear red. Someone was adamant about this recently when I wore a red polo shirt. It wasn’t for sartorial reasons that they had a problem (though it should have been), but for fear that I might be mistaken for a gang member. While it is unfortunately true that they are problems with gangs, I don’t think their numbers are quite at the level where their membership include dorky-looking, chino-and-moccasin-wearing Englishmen. If someone shoots me, it’s not because they thought I was in a gang, but because they thought I was a preppy git.
  3. Kool-Aid:
    As I write, I’m having a glass of Kool-Aid. My very first glass of Kool-Aid. Oh yeaaah!! I feel like that’s another item to cross off my list of American experiences. Taste-wise it’s…erm…well, let’s just note that I’m sure if I were seven I’d have loved this highly sugared water. However, I don’t think I’ll carry on drinking the Kool-Aid. Drinking the Kool-Aid: when you stop and think about it America, is one bleak idiom to pass into popular parlance.  

    It's the Kool-Aid man. He wears sneakers and his juice sloshes out of his exposed glass head - that can't be good for him.

[Image via Wikipedia]

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