Memorial weekend and the finest damn cupcakes I had the pleasure to serve with.
[tweetmeme source=”awindram” only_single=false] No one, absolutely no one, can beat these cupcakes for depth of patriotic feeling. Eat them all, it’s your duty. They might give you diabetes, but it’ll patriotic diabetes – the best kind. And while these cupcakes could possibly lead to diabetes-induced blindess, what I say to you is this, “is anyone truly blind when led by the shining light of patriotism?” Scientific research suggests not, but are you going to listen to the advice of “so-called experts” when I could tell you that one of these cupcakes has a tatoo of Uncle Sam riding a bald-headed eagle over Iraq and on September 12th that cupcake enlisted into the US army?
You, particularly the cynical among you, might think the supermarket is claiming these cupcakes are patriotic simply by adding some Brilliant Blue FCF and Allura Red AC food coloring to the frosting, but by thinking that, you shame these cupcakes, you shame yourself. Chomp down on one of these badboys, and as it digests in your body, you’ll still be able to hear the faint sound of the cupcake reciting the pledge of allegiance. I’d like to see one of those pinhead Commie-loving, gluten-free bran muffins do that.
EDITED TO ADD MORE PATRIOTIC PRODUCTS: