Wholesome American experiences #34: Kraft mac and cheese

by awindram

Today we debut an irregular feature in which the author for the first time experiences something that might be considered typically American.

In a decision I’ve immediately come to regret, I’ve just had my first experience of a Kraft mac and cheese dinner.

I now feel awful, like I’ve taken part in some classified scientific experiment – only without the bonus of my beneficiaries receiving compensation from the government in thirty years time.

This wasn’t food. This was a sad simulacrum of food. The future as perceived by the 1950s.

I’ve got the warm, cheesy sweats, man. It’s a cheese powder-induced fever. I’m also pretty certain I’ll be pooping out something orange later this evening.

p.s. America, mac and cheese – like lasagna or coq-au-vin or the KFC value chicken bucket – should not be considered appropriate as a side dish.

p.p.s. Comments about British cuisine will be heavily moderated.