Beg your pardon?
Two turkeys – Cobbler and Gobbler – were pardoned today at a ceremony in the White House – the soporifically titled National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation.*
Quite what malfeasance Cobbler and Gobbler had committed to join Richard Nixon, Scooter Libby and Susan McDougal in receiving a Presidential pardon was not reported in any article that I read. Filing false income tax returns? Seditious conspiracy? Moonshining? Your guess is as good as mine.
In 2010 that year’s pardoned turkeys – Apple and Cider – were from near where I am currently living. Based on the area, I assume that their pardon was for operating a rolling meth lab. At the county fair the Presidential flock was on display – a source of great local pride. However, when I was there the mood was muted with the very matter-of-fact, no-nonsense farmers taking care of the flock. “No,” they informed the somewhat excited children congregating around the turkey pen, “most of these we’ll kill. Then you’ll be able to eat them at Thanksgiving.” There were some distraught little faces around the turkey pen, although those same little faces will probably be stuffed full of delicious turkey flesh and mashed potato today.
Still, I appreciated the message if not quite the delivery.
*Surprised to learn this ceremony only dates back to 1989