Hello Ducky

by awindram

Like countless other disorganized spouses, this Thursday involved a panicked trip to the local Hallmarks store.

While looking through the various cards in search of something that wasn’t too sickly sweet (or expensive), I noticed that Hallmarks had brought out numerous Duck Dynasty branded Valentine’s Day cards.

It was, in fairness, hard not to notice them as the cards’ designs, mug shot poses of the Duck Dynasty clan’s scraggly faces, stood out when set against the designs of the other cards on sale – countless images of roses or insufferably cute drawings of puppies and kittens.

A quick look round the rest of the store revealed Hallmarks had a surprisingly large amount of Duck Dynasty merchandise on sale.

And I realized that a large number of red-blooded men in the US – hardcore Duck Dynasty fans who were outraged when the show’s patriarch Phil Robertson was suspended for making homophobic remarks that chime with their own views – would be receiving on Valentine’s Day this year a card saying “I love you” that features a head shot of big, bearded Phil smiling cheekily at them like their very own Folsom Street teddy bear.

The attendant irony would appear to be lost on them.