America Comprehended: US soccer hipster blokes

by awindram

US SOCCER HIPSTER BLOKES: US soccer hipster blokes are, for the most part, made up of young, white professionals who are recent converts to the beautiful game; more often than not they will tell you that they became interested in soccer during their study abroad (almost always somewhere in Europe. They’ll happily tell you several uninteresting drinking anecdotes about their time in Heidelberg).

Some, you soon discover, are purely posers with nothing more than a superficial knowledge of the sport; others will astound you with the amount of knowledge they have learned in the few years they have been following the sport and how it easily dwarfs your own (though you’d never tell them that). However, they will all irritate you when they explain how they came to support whichever major European soccer behemoth has their allegiance. You, of course, thanks to the geography of your birth are stuck with some perennially unsuccessful and unfashionable team. As a result, you tell yourself that you are the true fan, the one holding on to the pure vision of sport, a vision that is concerned with romance and being rooted in your community while they are nothing more than plastic fans.

However, when you meet the MLS soccer hipster bloke (a subset of the US soccer hipster bloke – they can be found in abundance in the Pacific Northwest) – who can legitimately cite a similar vision of sport and community as yourself – and yet you still find yourself irritated, maybe it’s time to acknowledge your own cantankerous, ever so slightly anti-American attitude on this issue.