America Comprehended: Ranch Dressing
RANCH DRESSING: As the Ancient Roman had garum (a somewhat fishy condiment), so the Modern American has ranch dressing. To craft your own, take fresh herbs (dill, parsley, and chives) and mix them with salt, sour cream, buttermilk, and mayo until all that fresh herb-y flavor is completely hidden and your left with a slightly tangy concoction appropriate for palates suffering arrested development. Ranch dressing enthusiasts (mostly to be found in the Midwest and West Coast) feel that every dish imaginable is fit for a dousing of RD. Ranch dressing enthusiasts are, for their own safety, advised when visiting New York City (a city impervious to the dressing’s charms) not to ask for it when ordering pizza.