Angry and Horny: Middling Tuesday, 8th March 2016

by awindram

So I have watched far more hours of Fox News in the last four weeks than I have in the previous four years, and what I’ve been finding compelling isn’t so much their confused coverage – although they do seem editorially flummoxed by their cognitive dissonance around Trump’s success – but this commercial which they are constantly airing during their ad breaks. The commercial is for Anastasia Date: a website for American men looking for love – specifically men looking for love with fresh-faced, willowy-limbed women from Eastern Europe.

I assume that the team in charge of marketing for Anastasia Date are smart and did their due diligence before greenlighting national TV spots. Hopefully they selected Fox News after extensive focus groups, all demonstrating that these older angry white men who are watching Fox, men who I can only assume are filled with rage at what they see as the world’s utter stupidity for not behaving as they think it should behave, find their anger makes them feel… well… kind of horny. They’re just angry, divorced men with rage boners – that’s the demographic the Anastasia Date people have targeted. Probably anti-immigrant, too – unless the immigrant is a 22-year-old from the Ukraine. You too can have your own Ivana or Melania is the pitch.

As for the nitty gritty of the election narrative, tonight was Middling Tuesday – the one night we give a shit about what people in Michigan, Mississippi and Idaho think. Results as follows (I’m not staying up for the Hawaii caucus)

 
GOP
Trump wins Michigan and Mississippi
Cruz wins Idaho

Dem
Clinton annihilates Sanders in Mississippi.
Sanders wins (surprisingly) in Michigan.

Sanders is the story of the night on the Dem side, but Hillary increases her lead in delegates. The Michigan win was so unexpected for Sanders that he didn’t even have a formal press conference planned. Instead, there was a hastily arranged speech that saw Bernie placed in front of a sad looking wooden trellis and pot plant – not the usual optics of American politics.

Over at Trump International Golf Club, Trump’s victory speech was one-thirds roast of everyone who has pissed the Donald off, two-thirds infomercial. Again, there was not the usual optics of American politics as Trump drew attention to all the raw meat he was sharing the stage with. It was in reference to Romney’s attack of him from last week. Romney had attacked a number of Trump’s business interests. Trump, who seems to have gossamer thin skin, piled the stage with cuts of Trump steak, bottles of Trump water, Trump wine and Trump vodka, and stacks of Trump magazine. I’ll say one thing for Adolf – at least he didn’t use his rallies to try and promote his branded merchandise.

Final Word:

“I’ve sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum it put them on the map!” Donald J. Trump.

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