43 long, dark nights for America: First Presidential Debate

by awindram

Forty-three long, dark nights to go. 

Trump’s Daily Twitter Highlight: “Nothing on emails. Nothing on the corrupt Clinton Foundation. And nothing on .

Clinton’s Daily Twitter Highlight: “43 days left. Let’s go win this thing

Daily election of interest: What Went Down In The First Presidential Debate

Nonsensical thoughts on tonight’s debate cribbed from my twitter feed:

Tonight’s debate combines all the anxiety of watching your team play in the World Cup final with genuine eschatological angst.

My cat is licking himself all over. I imagine Trump is using a similar grooming method to get himself ready for the debate. Probably the same look of self-satisfaction as he does it, too.

Kayleigh McEnany: “Trump has novel ideas.”
That’s certainly one way of putting it.
Other examples of novel ideas:
Exiling all of America’s raccoons by putting them in a dirigible and letting it fly across the Pacific.
Getting Ted Nugent to rewrite the National Anthem.
Chris Christie work-out video.
Replacing all the books in the Library of Congress with a million copies of The Art of the Deal.

Pence: “Donald always speaks from his heart … his dark, dark, lizard heart.”

As per tradition, both candidates are to walk out to Hulk Hogan’s Real American.

And in real time Donald is fact checked.

After a slow start, it has finally turned into that awkward Thanksgiving dinner argument you dread.

What if he lets Dr Oz see his tax return?

It’s easier to listen to Trump’s answers if you just think of them as a weird form of jazz improvisation.

“I opened a club …” Up there with “four score and twenty” & “tear down that wall” for inspiring Presidential rhetoric.

TRUMP: “I was just endorsed by ICE … not immigration enforcement, but this really terrific girl group that play at my club.”

Great, not only do we get guilt tripped into not calling elderly aunts enough, now we also have to call Sean Hannity, too.

“Hi Sean, are you okay? Keep the heater on – it’s chilly out. I’m going down to the shops – you need anything, pet?”

Trump proud not to have brought up Bill’s past indiscretions. Didn’t do so because he really likes Chelsea Clinton.

Now for the best (i.e. worst) part of the debate coverage – the undecided voter focus group. Wouldn’t trust this lot with focus grouping whether Prego pasta sauce is better smooth or with chunky tomato. And they’ll decide the election.

 

 

Advertisements