Dick assures country of the size of his dick – wants to be President: GOP debate, 3rd March 2016

I’m fresh from watching Fox News’ coverage of the Republican Party’s death rattle, otherwise known as the eleventh GOP debate of this election cycle, and like a film series with so many entries, we’re really running on fumes and are reduced to making the cheapest, crassest jokes imaginable. On that point, if these GOP debates were a film series they’d be Police Academy.

All that really needs to be known about this debate is that it was the one in which Trump reassured the country that he doesn’t have a small penis. Great. We’re done now. Where do we go from here? Ron Jeremy as his running mate?

Thoughts as I watching (i.e. nonsensical thoughts cribbed from my twitter feed):

Odds on Trump ending the night by creepily presenting Megyn Kelly with a single red rose?

Good to see Donald assuage any doubts we might have about the size of his penis. Not sure that’s what people mean when they question whether he can be the head of state.

That nuclear triad joke was lousy last time you said it, Marco.

How can I vote for Kasich when he has spoken for the last five minutes and still hasn’t assuaged my concerns about his penis size?

“This little guy…” Trump’s dismissal of Rubio. Is that a small dick reference, too? Everything has to be read in those terms now. Christ, it’s as if Sid James were running for President of the United States.

And yet I’m oddly enjoying this. I wonder if I’d also enjoy WWE?

Pretty confident that the next debate is going to be a literal pissing match.

In fairness, this is an embarrassment of an audience. Constant booing, gurning at the cameras – it’s like a Flyers’ game.

The most terrifying moments are when the madman says something reasonable and gets pilloried: “you got to get along with everyone.” “Booooo!!” Wait, this one of those tiny moments when he isn’t being crazy. Boo him when he’s talking about his dick or talking about he’s going to turn the US military into his personal militia who will obey him no matter what.

“I have too much respect,” says Trump to Megyn Kelly without any sense of irony whatsoever.

Haven’t heard about anyone’s manhood for a while. I think this GOP debate may have shot its load early.

There seems to be some very rowdy bachelorette parties at this debate. Worried that they might start chanting “strip” at Little Marco.

Ah, Kasich, you can’t even deliver a zinger. You should have carried through with that paraphrase on Lloyd Bentsen’s line. “I knew Ronald Reagan and you are no Ronald Reagan,” would have, I’d have thought, been an effective moment for Kasich.

Anthony Hopkins is going to be truly wonderful as Trump in the Oliver Stone biopic.

After a fairly strong opening, Rubio has been anonymous. Cruz has performed the attack role far more effectively and without engaging in Trump’s adolescent nonsense. Also Kasich has had more presence than in previous debates. I wonder if he sounds fresher to the audience as they don’t know his soundbites so well?

Trump performs well with the poorly educated. I don’t think they care so much about Trump University, Marco. I don’t know if this is the main attack line.

Wonder what name Trump University gave its athletics program. The Trump Schlongs? The Trump Coiffures?

Trump really is the evil businessman in a Herbie the love bug movie.

I’m not her biggest fan, but Megyn Kelly is so much better at this than Wolf Blitzer was last week.

Kasich becomes the first person in the history of Detroil to get applauded for saying “let’s stop fighting.”

From a debate perspective, Kasich is the real beneficiary of Carson dropping out.

Chris Wallace looks like he should be in an old time-y nightdress, night cap and holding a candle holder.

Kasich: “I’m the little engine than can…” Awwwww. Not really what many people are looking for in a President.

Rubio reminds me of a kid who was the golden child at High School but is now struggling with the curriculum at university.

Debate is over. And it changed absolutely nothing.

How many more of these do we have to endure. They’re really not fit for purpose anymore.

I’ll say one thing for a Trump presidency – just think of the incredible banana republic-esque military uniform he’ll fashion for himself.